sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize