I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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