Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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