Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
