dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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