Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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