I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
