I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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