she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize