I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
