i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
