Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
