John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
