We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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