Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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