i just had sex bonerless
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
