No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
