you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
