eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
