I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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