Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
