your parents love me but you hate me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
