why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
