i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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