That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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