then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
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She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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