if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize