At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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