i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
