wrigley field is MILF paradise
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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