1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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