so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
