how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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