I just made out with a guy for $7.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
