i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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