Too much gin, very little bucket
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
