got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
