I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
