There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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