Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
