Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
