How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
