Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize