I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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