If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
