I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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