And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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