end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
