She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
