The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
