so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I checked into jail on foursquare
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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