oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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