Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
