whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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