Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
