I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
