32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
