She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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