Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
