Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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