Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
